always
by alivingfantasy
Summary: "Pretending not to love you is the hardest thing I've ever done." Oneshot. Extension to 2x25. Spoby.


**-always-**

_Extension to 2x25-Spoby_

-:-

"Our friend?"

No sooner have the words left her mouth than she spots him, leaning against the truck that has seen their best and worst memories, echoed every laugh, every sob, every kiss, every goodbye.

He begins to walk toward her, and she sees determination in his clear blue eyes, not unlike the glow of his irises as he proudly presented her a glossy wooden rocking chair, saying, _"I made it for you."_

Her response (_"I can't take it", "we've been over this", "you have to stay away from me", "what I want is for you to forget about me!"_) had killed her, but she'd known she had to do it. To protect him. It was the same way she'd finally managed to stop crying after he left town when she made Emily lie about her and Wren-_you've lost him, but he's safe. He can't love you if he's dead either. He's better off away from you and all the ways you could hurt him._ But now, A's gone. This chapter in her life is over; she's turned the final page. But what story ends without a happily ever after? She's drawn toward him, almost as if by magnetic force. Because she can't deny the fact that even now, her heartbeat accelerates to a dizzying pace whenever she's near him. He has that affect on her. _He still does._

"Pretending not to love you is the hardest thing I've ever done."

The words echo in her head, and suddenly every terrible and terrifying and heartbreaking moment in the past year of her life hits her all at once. She's overcome with a feeling she's never once experienced before: sorrow, fear, pain, anger, confusion, remorse…all at the same time. And it's setting her over the edge. Every scar of her past, every shattered fragment of her heart, every painful thought…they're filling up her head and crashing upon her like a fierce, unmerciful wave on a stormy, raging sea of loss, of hopelessness and agony, and she wants him to feel it too. Wants him to see how much it hurt to lose all she's lost, to experience all she's experienced. How it hurt to lose a love so pure and real. Because after all they've been through, he chooses now, after Mona has been caught and her own life almost ended; here, outside the police station; tonight, when her entire world has been turned upside-down, to come back to her?

She lifts her hand to slap him (Spencer Hastings is vengeful and bloodthirsty and cutthroat), but he grabs it, stopping her, and she almost faints, feeling his calloused yet oh-so-tender hands around hers (Spencer Hastings is loving and passionate and desperate). She's kind of glad she didn't hit him, because now his unbelievable blue eyes are trained on hers, turquoise and mocha mixing and meshing, and his face is open and his lips are curled up and he's looking at her the way he used to. Like he loves her, all of her flaws and judgments and quirks included.

And she loves him.

Mona and Wren, her parents and Jenna, complications and drama, tears and broken promises be damned; Spencer Hastings is desperately, totally, insanely, undeniably, passionately in love with Toby Cavanaugh.

_Pretending not to love you…_

And then she realizes. He was _pretending_. To protect her, ironically. He was helping Dr. Sullivan—and in turn, her and her friends—get A.

And then he's pulling her to him and kissing her and she's kissing him and their breaths and hearts and hopes are intermingled once again, and she's feeling her broken heart start to beat again. To beat for _him._

She pulls back breathlessly, trailing her fingertip across his cheek—God, how had she gone so long without this?—and he smiles brightly, his deep dimples revealing themselves, and kisses her again, and she's laughing and feeling, and she thinks she might be crying a little too. Crying tears of joy. Not anger, not frustration, not sorrow. But joy. Joy that he is hers again.

And she is his.

As he kisses her, every moment of terror and fear is gone, her slate wiped clean. Every monster she's ever faced, every lie she's ever told, every glare, every secret, every horror…it's gone. Poof. Just like that.

She's whole again, and she loves it.

She loves Toby.

They finally pull back for air, and it's like the whole rest of the world has faded away. No; it's better. Like Dorothy, after she landed in Oz, when everything went from black and white to Technicolor.

"I-" he starts, but she cuts him off.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," she whispers, her voice raw and broken. _Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me…_

He clasps her hands in his, his blue eyes filling with concern as he kisses her tenderly. "If anything had happened to you tonight…"

She shudders slightly, thinking about Mona in the black hoodie…the car, speeding to Lookout Point…Mona's limp body tumbling down the ravine… "Please," she whispers, taking his hand. "Just don't…think about that."

He cups her cheek, gingerly brushing a stray strand of hair from her eyes. "I love you," he states simply.

Her eyes well up, and she internally curses herself (God knows she's shed enough tears to fill the Nile River seven times over in the past week alone) but Toby never makes her feel like her tears are a flaw or a weakness. Because he _loves her._ Hearing him say it…it reaffirms every whispered promise, every gentle touch, every heart-melting kiss. It means that after everything, he is hers as much as she is his. That their hearts beat together as one.

"I love you too."

His eyes light up like she's just given him the most amazing present he's ever received, and he sweeps her back up into his arms, kissing her so sweetly she practically forgets her own name.

Even if tonight was terrible, heartbreaking, and changed so much, it was worth it. Worth fighting to the end for, to end up here in his arms, the place where she knows she truly belongs. The destination she has reached was far more valuable than the bumpy, treacherous road she's taken to reach it.

"Toby, don't ever leave me again," she begs him, gripping him harder. She never wants to go back to those painful, sleepless nights when she'd thought he was gone for good.

He lovingly brushes the salty liquid from her cheeks with his thumbs, laying a kiss on her temple.

"Never," he promises firmly.

Her lips meet his, hot and fiery, desperate to make up for all the lost time, and then she knows.

No matter what happens next—tomorrow or the next day or twenty years from now—she'll brave it, with Toby, with the love of her life, right there by her side.

Always.

**~Fin.~**

_A/N: Oh my God, that Spoby finale kiss…I cried. It was amazing, and so worth the wait, and this is what I wish happened after ;) The finale in general was so…wow. How do you even describe it? I NEVER would have expected Mona! And Maya…poor Emily :,( _

_Season three is June 5 loves, 72 more days…ugh. But from what I hear, it'll be awesome :)_

_So review! Thanks._

_~Ana_


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